It’s with great relief that I closed the doors on 2025 and while I am apprehensive at what 2026 will bring, I also feel a sense of hope that maybe, just maybe, this year will be one of continued healing and less pain, physically, emotionally, and psychologically. I truly hope and wish the same for you as well.

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS

I am not a proponent of New Year Resolutions because, let’s face it, none of us stick to them.

Well, most of us anyway.

Only 6% of people actually stick to their resolutions through the entire year according to Forbes, while other sources bring that number up to 9%.

Regardless, not many.

Forty-four percent of people maintain their resolutions on average for 2-3 months, but 23% only last the first week! Brittany Vermeer wrote an excellent article on New Years Resolutions here that I recommend reading.

And apparently, it’s so common for people to quit by the second Friday in January that it has been dubbed National Quitter’s Day (which falls on today actually).

I think the reasons we quit and don’t maintain our resolve is because we do not set realistic, attainable, sustainable goals for ourselves.

At least, I know that’s true for me.

NEGATIVE NANCY

I actually think New Years Resolutions are a pretty negative thing overall. When I inevitably fail at trying to maintain unsustainable, unrealistic goals, I automatically start with the negative self-talk, the shame and the guilt.

I’m not strong enough.

I’m too lazy.

I’m weak.

I’m never going to achieve ____.

And then I spiral into the “shoulds.”

I should have tried harder.

I should be able to do this.

I shouldn’t give up.

I should be able to accomplish the same things as everyone else (ignoring the fact that I’m not like “everyone else” - and neither are you).

Those SHOULDs!

Psychologist Dr. Albert Ellis encourages us to “Stop shoulding on yourselves.” And my PHP therapist, Jon, constantly reminded me that “if you go around shoulding on yourself, the more shitty you will feel.”

And that is the darndest truth.

It’s something that I continue to work on and New Years Resolutions honestly don’t help me with this.

GOALS

I’m not saying we shouldn’t set goals for ourselves. I’m just saying that the goals we set need to be smart, like Brittany Vermeer touts in her article.

S = sustainable

M = measurable

A = achievable

R = relevant

T = time-bound

This is really helpful for me!

• So instead of setting the goal, I will lose weight, I can break that goal down to something like I will lose 32 pounds to reach my body’s ideal weight (this is measurable and relevant). I will reach this goal by August by losing approximately 1 pound a week by making some changes to my diet, taking my GLP1 injections, and adding more activity into my day-to-day (this is now something achievable, sustainable, and time-bound, if you then can specifically identify what those diet changes and activities will be).
• Instead of just setting the goal, I will eat healthier maybe pick 2 or 3 smaller, more smart goals like “I will only drink one alcoholic beverage a week,” or “I will eat the same number of grams of protein that equal my ideal body weight a day,” or “I will avoid sugary treats like cookies, muffins, cake, juice, etc. but give myself one cheat day a week.”
• Instead of saying, “I’m going to work out more this year!”, realize your limitations and take them into account. I would like to work out 45 minutes a day, but with my body, this might not always look like going for a run or going to the gym. How about shooting for 45 minutes of activity a day, whether it’s house work, physical therapy, or walking around the yard throwing balls to my dog?

Ideally, you want to make small changes that you know you can keep, but rewarding yourself at certain milestones is sensible. Smaller goals are more achievable and realistic, and therefore more sustainable. Providing margin for yourself when you inevitably do something human is so important too and keeping the why you want to achieve these goals forefront in your mind so that you stay motivated is key.

LOOKING BACK AND LOOKING FORWARD

One of the things I was encouraged to do in PHP therapy was to reflect on a time period or a life event that happened recently. Within this time frame, I was to list my accomplishments, regardless of how minor they seemed, as well as lessons I had learned. What challenges did I overcome and what specific things was I grateful for from this timeframe?

Writing it all down was kind of a wow moment for me because I realized that in my daily struggles, I often just assumed I was not doing as well as I “should” be. I was working working working, but still under the assumption that I was broken and wasn’t actually putting the pieces of me back together. By looking at my accomplishments and how I had grown made me take a step back and gain a more realistic perspective. No, I haven’t been working for nothing. Yes, I am moving forward. Yes, I am healing even if it’s in baby steps.

And then, as part of the same exercise, I was encouraged to look forward to a time frame…maybe it was next month or all of 2026. What would I like to achieve in this time? What am I looking forward to, what relationships do I want to invest in and strengthen, how do I want to contribute to the people and places around me? How do I want to grow?

And doing this seemed to make my goal setting/New Years Resolutions more….meaningful. Worthwhile.

If you are interested in doing this too, you can find the same worksheets I used here on TherapistAid!

Regardless of whether you take time to do this exercise or not, what are some of your smart goals for this season of your life? What are ways that you want to grow this year? I would love to hear about them!

Keep on keeping on, Friends.