A lot of this post is influenced by Arlin Cuncic’s excellent article about radical acceptance on verywellmind and SimplePractice’s article on practical steps of radical acceptance.
This is my last post in our ACT series, and what better way to wrap this up than talk about Radical Acceptance. This is also timely because I have really really had to work hard these past couple of weeks to radically accept a few things in my life. And I’m still working on it!
Just as a reminder, ACT stands for...
It’s a rainy day outside and I’m having a bad body day (what I call days that I’m hurting which could be from any number of things associated with my Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome). I love the rain (perfect for reading or writing!) and a painful day is not unusual. And yet, I just watched a TED talk that made me want to bawl my eyes out (which IS unusual).
Why am I so emotional at the moment? Honestly, I have no idea. But in the past I would have berated myself harshly, mentally blocked and locked...
As a continuation from my last post on living a values-driven life versus a goal-driven life, I want to look at another one of those components of the hexaflex which is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (“ACT”). It’s called Contact with the Present Moment.
As a reminder!!!! ACT is another type of psychotherapy (like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT) that practitioners use to help people like me who are struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma, and PTSD. Google AI actually has a great...
When I was in residential treatment (crazy story, which you can read here!), the therapists there introduced me to a psychotherapeutic treatment called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT. I had never heard of it before, and they threw around terms like “radical acceptance” and “psychological flexibility” like I was supposed to know what they meant. This irritated me and when I asked questions, I received a lot of evasive answers which just made me angrier (this was during my angry...
Every week I’d like to present a new grounding technique or coping strategy that can help anyone who is struggling with overwhelming anxiety, intrusive thoughts, PTSD triggers, or stress. Not all of the strategies and techniques I provide will work for everyone. You will just have to try them and see what works for you. The more tools you have in your toolbox, the better!
Today I’m going to teach you about the 5-4-3-2-1 Technique, which I have found very helpful for me. When I feel like a...
Probably like many of you, I grew up “saying grace” at the dinner table before digging in. I’m not sure why it was called “saying grace” because I always thought of it as saying thanks to God before my meal. Anyone ever have a relative who would wax long in their prayer to God while all the family members waited around impatiently for him to hurry up while the food got cold?
Sometimes, it seems like Christians think they get an extra dose of godly if they say a long prayer while everyone is...
I have another cognitive distortion for you that really does a doozy on me that I know wrecks havoc with others, too.
It’s called personalization.
We talked about “Should Statements” earlier, which is also a cognitive distortion, which you can find here. I have also written a short series on other cognitive distortions, which you can find here, here, and here.
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Cognitive Distortions is the term we use...
Cognitive distortions are a conglomeration of different patterns of thinking which negatively impact our mental health. I wrote a short series of posts about them, which you can find here on Cognitive Distortions Parts 1 and 2 . Should Statements is one of the cognitive distortions that I struggle with the most, so I thought it would be a good idea to break this down for those of you who might grapple with it too.
WHAT ARE SHOULD STATEMENTS?
We have all thought them, heard them, said them.
I...
Today I feel overwhelmed at all the things I need to do, the things that need to happen, the things that worry me and make me sad. Anxiety escalated and when panic began to emerge, I made myself sit down with one of my favorite mindfulness exercises from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) called Leaves on a Stream. In case you are having one of “those days” too, I encourage you to try this out. Therapist Aid offers a helpful worksheet here as well.
“You can’t dwell on those thoughts.”
“Stop thinking so negatively.”
“Think positive thoughts.”
People have told me these things repeatedly over the years. I have told myself similar things too. And yet, sometimes I truly feel like I have no control over my thoughts. That they control me instead.
If I ruminate on a negative thought, it often spirals out of control (especially when it’s something negative about myself). The problem with this is, that the more I think things, the more I start to...
Be kind to yourself.
Show yourself compassion.
Give yourself some grace.
Take care of yourself.
Give yourself positive affirmations.
Stop that negative talk!
I hear these things all the time now from therapists, other mental health patients, friends who love me, other well-intentioned people, and society. There is definitely a movement towards self-love in our culture, but to be honest, I've felt left behind. If we got grades on how well we loved ourselves, I would get a resounding F.
Or at least I...
This morning, I was looking through my therapy notes and handouts for two reasons:
And I did. I’m going to talk about TIPP skills, which help reduce extreme emotions quickly (so that you can go about your day, survive the next moment, escape a dangerous situation, etc.)
T =...
It’s been a while since I wrote, and I’m too tired to apologize. Take comfort knowing I feel guilty. Always.
I wish I were a machine and could write all the things I want to write. I want to reach people and offer resources I’ve been given, and I felt a fire under my belly for a long time. But then I kept on getting emails from SubStack stating my stats. And on average, only 3 people actually open my newsletter. So, it deflated me, and I don’t feel like I’m doing much good here.
THE ROUGH NEWS
...
My old PHP therapist, Jon, always said, “If people just utilized deep breathing and exercise in their therapy, I would most likely be out of a job.”
That’s not a slight on his job or a dismissal of people’s problems. It speaks volumes though about how important, yet underutilized, deep breathing and exercise are as tools in your therapy toolbox.
For purposes of this post today though, let’s just focus on deep breathing.
WHY DEEP BREATHING
Playing devil’s advocate, why NOT deep breathing? You have...
This past week I had over ten nerve blocks put into my ribcage.
I have been counting down the days since my pain specialist and I scheduled it because my back pain, especially with my ribs, has been out of control. But the closer I got to the procedure the more worried and anxious I was. Last time I had this done, they only injected my left side and I thought I was going to pass out from the pain. Like many other people with EDS, lidocaine does not work on us, and since that’s the only...
“NORMAL” OR COMMON PAIN
Any kind of pain is unpleasant – breaking a bone, getting a cut, having an infection, dislocating a joint, getting burned…
headaches, body aches, ear aches, toothaches…
pulled muscles, papercuts, split toenails, hangnails, sunburn, UTIs, frostbite, whiplash, appendicitis, kidney stones, even acne etc.
Anything that happens to your body that is outside of its homeostasis-it’s search for the right balance so that all your bodily functions...
Happy New Year, friends!
It’s with great relief that I closed the doors on 2025 and while I am apprehensive at what 2026 will bring, I also feel a sense of hope that maybe, just maybe, this year will be one of continued healing and less pain, physically, emotionally, and psychologically. I truly hope and wish the same for you as well.
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS
I am not a proponent of New Year Resolutions because, let’s face it, none of us stick to them.
Well, most of...
I know Thanksgiving has already passed. It’s extra hard for me to write sometimes. Despite the chaos of traveling and cooking and cleaning and trying to keep my body and brain in one piece, I’ve been reflecting and jotting down…stuff. And I think these thoughts can carry us through the Christmas season too.
Thanksgiving Chaos
Thanksgiving in America is all about being thankful for the things that you have and sharing it...
Dear Friends and Followers on Substack,
It’s been 3 months since I’ve written anything. I don’t apologize for being silent because I needed that silence, that space. And to be honest, I couldn’t help it. But I do appreciate your patience through the quiet.
WHAT HAPPENED IN AFRICA IN THE MONTH OF AUGUST
Last time you heard, I was living my best life in Africa on a trip that was very special to me. I was so grateful to be there finally and the wildlife and...
Hi Friends,
Unfortunately, I had to leave my trip mid-way through, and I am back in the U.S. I have several more days that warrant posts and pictures, but at the moment, I am unable to focus on this. I appreciate your patience, and I promise to send more posts when I am able.
Keep on keeping on, friends.
